They breathed their last but with their last breath, live on.
(Brianetics dedicates this page to Charles F. Endres Jr. - decorated USMC veteran, American patriot, mechanic and electrical genius ne plus ultra, devoted and loving husband and father... and to Donald F. Kralle II - polymath, cynic, optimist, iconoclast, conspirator, proud family man, steadfast American, incomparable friend.)
I should never have switched from Scotch to Martinis.
Said by: Humphrey Bogart
These words are quintessential Bogart; so much so that though these last utterances are likely apocrophyl, they not only ring true nonetheless, but Bogart fans WANT him to have said just that.
His last words are also reported as:
Goodbye Kid. Hurry back.
(Said to Lauren Bacall as she briefly left his bedside.) Which is likely the actual last thing Bogie uttered.
After all, Bogie famously took as his main precept - or world view or philosophical thesis of global stabilization:
"The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind."
Then we have his approach to assessing one's character:
"Never trust a man who doesn't drink."
by now you have noticed two pictures of Bogie when the norm is but one. Which caused you to mull - Bogart seems to have most favored person status - 2 photos plus additional quotes. brianetics freely admits a long-standing reverance for Bogie, his films and all else Bogart. the reason he appears in Last words, the last page in this august compendium? The best is always saved for last. and that's all there is to that.
Wilde To The Very Last
and what would be a page on last words without Brianetics Laureate Emeritus
Mr. Oscar Wilde
“This wallpaper is dreadful, one of us will have to go.”
― Oscar Wilde
So, There's oscar Wilde - frail and besewn with agony - helpless against the inexorable flume of life abandoning his body...but what concerns him more than his very life in exit?
The wallpaper. with charon preparing his ferry for Oscar's voyage across River Styx, the man is making interior design decisions. I mean, Sure, Oscar Wilde was gay. Fine. But this propels the gay sterotype into an alternate plane of human understanding.
Not only that, but how long had he lived with that wallpaper? If it was so dreadful then why didn't he replace it prior to death's order of removal? And since he didn't replace it, how dreadful was it, anyway?
Hmmm...now it occurs Oscar wilde didn't find the wallpaper dreadful at all. No no no. About to die, but refusing to succumb before uttering an exit line suitable to his genius, Oscar swiftly eyed the room, fixed on the wallpaper, and rightly judged a dying utterance about dreadful wallpaper was just the wit he was looking for. He didn't hate that wallpaper at all...he rather loved it as the nexus of his final snark.
Wit to Dewitt
It seems fitting that george sanders - pictured right - follow Oscar Wilde on this page. Both British, both acclaimed in their art and both comported themselves with a style unknown in these lol times. And also because Mr. Sanders had a starring role in the 1946 The Picture Of Dorian Gray, from the short novel by - good guess! - Oscar Wilde. Sanders had a long and very successful screen career playing everything from B-movie rake the Falcon to Ivanhoe and a smarmy English aristocrat in A Shot In The Dark. His career apotheosis came in 1950 when he appeared in All About Eve as superbly snarky theater critic Addison de Witt, for which he received an Oscar for best supporting actor. (Continued under photo right)
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“Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something.”
― Pancho Villa (below)
Gee, that's his last thought? That he had no last thought?
“I go to seek a Great Perhaps.”
― François Rabelais
His Addison de Witt just to add - delivers one of Brianetic's favorite movie quotes. Even out of context the seething opprobrium and controlled loathing can be felt. Like the ooze from a festering sore.
(to Eve Harrington, who has just tried to deceive Addison De Witt)
Addison De Witt De Witt: Is it possible, even conceivable, that you've confused me with that gang of backward children you play tricks on? That you have the same contempt for me as you have for them? Look closely, Eve. It's time you did. I am Addison De Witt. I am nobody's fool. Least of all - yours.
Goood luck to you, too, Addison.
Thomas J. Grasso (above) was a 32-year-old male double murderer executed by lethal injection at Oklahoma State Penitentiary, McAlester, Oklahoma, on March 20, 1995. He strangled Hilda Johnson, an 87-year-old woman, using her Christmas tree lights on December 24, 1990, in her Tulsa home. He stole $8 from her purse, $4 in loose change, and her television set which he sold for $125.
Now here's a guy with a set of personal standards so lofty not a man on this page - nor woman - can ever hope to be revered for exhibiting ethics otherwise possessed by a mere two people out of the entire macabre, dirge and screed of world history. One is this knucklehead and the other still believes he was elected president of the United States of America.
Christmas Eve, no less. Strangles an 87 year old woman with her own Christmas lights and made off with Lufthansa Heist kind of money. Oh, wait...the crack Brianetics Facts You Desk - that is, Facts FOR You Desk - now reporting Mr. Grasso profited 137.00$. $12 excluding the tv revenue. Yet is so discordant at this affront to his pride he felt the need to admonish The World that he certainly DID NOT have Spaghetti-O's for his last meal.
Thanks for the correction and so Sorry for the confusion, Mr. Grasso. Maggot.
Below USN Burial At Sea
"Friends applaud, the comedy is over."
Ludwig Van Beethoven (above) apparently thought his entire life was a joke; why else make this comment at the nexus of death?
And he could have said something a little more humanistic, like: I just hope my work brought some joy to the people.
Oh, well. One look at this guy's pan tells you he was Scrooge who died before Christmas Eve.
Lakota Sioux Burial Platform (above)
“I see that you have made three spelling mistakes”
― Thomas de Mahay, French aristocrat and supporter of the House of Bourbon during the French Revolution. Often seen as a martyr of the Royalist cause, he was executed for his part in "planning against the people of France" under the Comte de Provence. His last words were spoken upon reading his death sentence warrant.
Now here is a guy dedicated to accuracy. Imagine criticizing your executioner for spelling errors as he sharpens his blade. On the other hand, it wasn't going to make things any worse, so why not educate the ignorant before putting your head over the basket?
And you certainly deserve it, Don. One of the most versatile movie entertainers of his time, Mr. O'Connor could sing and tap to rival Gene Kelly. had impeccable comedic timing along with mischievous boyish good looks but yet could deftly play the dramatic scene when required. Plus did a credible turn as t.v. talk show host. And that's just what the Brianetics Entertainment and Let's Get Pizza Desk came up with before doing any research.
Anaxagoras(– c 500BC. 428 BC) was a pre-Socratic Greek philosopher...
And a Greek Lunch Pail Philosopher at that it seems
This is how a Greek philosopher speaks? Give the boys a holiday? What boys? The boys over at the Mill or the boys down at the discus and javelin club? where did this guy live, with ralph and Norton?
oh well, it's just a thing like the other things. what can you expect from a guy who was tried, convicted and sentenced to exyile for impiety. Which may or may not have involved Parmenides and his assertions on the impossibility of change. Anaxagoras thought this over a minute and said: Hey, stuff changes all the time. Ever hear of night? Or weather? the impossibility of change is an impossibility, you ask me.
Once that got out, local monarch cleon prosecuted our boy for impiety and packed him off to Lampsacus for life.
When told of his exile, Anaxagoras reportedly said the change would do him good.
Not a bad way to go
Tallulah Bankhead's last request
a partial list of men who involved themselves with
Johnny Weissmuller, Tommy Dorsey Groucho Marx, Ona Munson, Helen Menken, Katharine Cornell, Burgess Meredith, Patsy Kelly, Blyth Daly, Charles Boyer, Humphrey Bogart, Hugh Williams, Frances Day, John Barrymore, Jimmy Durante, Toto Koopman, John Whitney, John Hodiak
Miss bankhead, who enjoyed quite a successful career on stage and screen throughout the 1930's and '50's and was both talented and quite popular, once said of herself, "I'm as pure as the driven slush." From the lengthy yet abbreviated list of her amorous partners this self-assessment was as accurate as it could be without using profane languge for increased clarity.
Above: Photo of traditional New Orleans funeral procession.
Yipes! What did we ever do to you that deserves that kind of language?
God damn the whole fuckin’ world and everyone in it but you, Carlotta.
W. C. Fields, American entertainer addressing his mistress
Considering the universal and pan-generational celebrity of the late Mr. Fields, No further comment is deemed necessary nor is one forthcoming. Not for a guy who belches undeserved invective from the grave. Drunk.
VIKING FUNERAL SHIP
كيف تتوقع مني أن أعيش؟ (Kayf tatawaqae miniy 'an 'aeish?)
Translation: How do you expect me to make a living?
Who: Mohamed Bouazizi, Tunisian street vendor.
- Note: Bouazizi set himself on fire on 17 December 2010, in response to the confiscation of his wares and the harassment and humiliation that he said was inflicted on him by a municipal official and her aides. At 11:30 AM local time, he shouted these words while standing in the middle of traffic, then doused himself with gasoline and set himself alight with a match. He later died at the Ben Arous Burn and Trauma Centre on 4 January 2011. This act of self-immolation became a catalyst for the Tunisian Revolution, and eventually the wider Arab Spring.
Holy Smokes! Here's another guy riddled with failing organs, full tubes and monitoring clips and medications...Death standing right there at the foot of his hospital bed so impatient he was ready to pull a plug...But what is foremost on Mr. Hilton's mind? That the shower curtain should fall INSIDE the tub! Him and Oscar Wilde. Neither could succumb peacefully until they made their points about curtains and wallpaper. Something just isn't right. Isn't right at all.
Karl Marx (above)
Yeah, well you filled enough heads with your toxic foolishness that the world is becoming an increasingly godless, decadent, dissolute, misanthropic hellscape. Your last words should have come before the first words of your Communist Manifesto were ever written, you morally bankrupt Commie bastard.
Imperial edict even from his deathbed
The drama's over. Applaud.
("Fabula acta est. Plaudite.")— Augustus Caesar, Roman emperor (19 August AD 14
With last words like these one wonders if the playwright known as Shakespeare was familiar with the emperor's last words and was inspired by them when he wrote, "all the world is a stage and all the men and women merely players..." (as you like it). Augustus surely seems to believe himself to be the featured player in a popular stage production on which the curtain has opened for the final curtain call of its run.
What's with these bored Englishmen?
I'm bored with it all.
Winston Churchill just before he slipped into a coma.
First George Sanders now Winston Churchill. of course, it should be recognized that compared to the rest of his extraordinary life the approach of death while entering a coma certainly would be boring.
Yes, Tom; YOUR Fourth
And what last words could be more fitting from the chief Architect of the Declaration of Independence and U.S. Constitution? Even in death Jefferson's last thoughts were concern that he would die before seeing the 50th anniversary of the United States of America.
WOW..HE REALLY HELD FORTH KNOWING THAT VOW OF SILENCE WAS ABOUT TO BE RENDERED NULL
"Let this word of mine be kept by you, so that no one shall know in what place my body reposes, for I shall receive it incorruptible from my Saviour in the resurrection of the dead. And distribute my garments thus: To Athanasius, the bishop, give one of my sheepskins, and the cloak under me, which was new when he gave it me, and has become old by my use of it; and to Serapion, the bishop, give the other sheepskin; and do you have the hair-cloth garment. And for the rest, children, farewell, for Anthony is going, and is with you no more."— Anthony the Great, Christian monk from Egypt (17 January AD 356)
Sheesh, how long did he linger before surrendering his mortal soul to God Almighty? And how sick could he possibly have been? This death-bed hosanna is not only longer than The Apostles Creed but a well-crafted address both complex in thought and form and amazingly detailed, too. All the while exuding a sacramental piety that is never more than a fervent subtext, always felt by the congregants yet not stultifying as a mad prophet's screed.
Obviously he had both the time and intellectual acuity at hand on his way to Heaven, so good for Anthony the Great for not wasting either by grumbling over shower curtains and draperies.
Nostradamus, French Astrologer
Michel de Nostredame (depending on the source, 14 or 21 December 1503 – 1 or 2 July 1566), usually Latinised as Nostradamus, was a French astrologer, physician and reputed seer, who is best known for his book Les Prophéties, a collection of 942 poetic quatrains allegedly predicting future events. The book was first published in 1555.
His last prophecy came July 1, 1566 when he foretold as he lay dying:
1 shall no longer
- Nostradamus (Michel de Notre Dame)
Which may be not only the most accurate of his prophecies but the one requiring the least interpretation, seeing as he said he would and then was not here the next day. Unlike his tortuously enigmatic yet highly-revered, assiduously interpreted quatrains - many of which contain the same imagery while referring to very different occurrences for his prophecy to make any sense - the foretelling of his own death is quite clear. And historically evident, unlike the famous Hister = Hitler misinterpretation, among many others. The thing is, he was a genuine hero during the Black Plague, saving whole families, entire villages from extinction while disregarding the dangers to himself. So RIP, Michel de Nostradame, RIP.
“A party! Let’s have a party." Margaret Sanger
Yes, let's have a party to celebrate the death of this despicable human being. Ms. Sanger was an avowed eugenicist who also said: “We Want to Exterminate the Negro Population.” She also founded Planned Parenthood, the sole function of which is to turn living beings into lifeless wads of goo via abortion. Good riddance, godless dybbuk; Hell is far too gracious a place for you.
“Tell Georgie I want to get in the movies one way or another.” Lucky Luciano
It seemed fitting to follow one murderer with another. There was no indication as to who the Georgie was Lucky wanted to get his message to though George Raft -rumored mobster prior to becoming a movie star of the 1930's onward - was friends with Luciano, Meyer Lansky etc.
To illustrate just how great his stature was in American culture you will find (RIGHT)
Lucky Luciano on the cover of TIME and another with the American flag in the background. As if he was a genuine patriot rather than being a greedy, murderous drug-smuggling pimp.
"Where is my clock?"
Salvidor Dali, who apparently needed to confirm his time was up.
"Take away those pillows. I shall need them no more."
The quote on Mr. Carroll's likeness (right)
is quite apt. As he labored over the puzzle of his personhood, so, too, did many of us labor to solve the puzzle of just what was he getting at, hookah-smoking caterpillars, rabbits with pocket watches always late, a cat with a grin that runs wider than his face, a Red Queen constantly yammering "Off with his head!" And, curiouser and curiouser every generation finds it irresistable.
"Here is the battle of day against night. I see black light."
Here's another guy with a tell-all face. No doubt he was battling that black light his whole life.
Carvings of Prehistoric Burial Rites
<<<<< Richard B. Mellon
Richard B. Mellon, a multimillionaire, was the president of Alcoa. He and his brother Andrew had a little game of tag going for about seven decades. 1933, when Richard was on his deathbed, he called his brother over and whispered, “Last tag.” Andrew remained “it” for four years, until he died.
And still another guy who lead a rich and fulfilling life as president of a great American manufacturing empire and scion to one of the richest men in the history of time, yet what rolls off his lips at the moment of his demise? "Last tag." No murmurs of wealth used too little for the general good, no pleas for absolution for the corporate misdeeds done in his name; no parting cautions about keeping your wealth and losing your soul from him...No no no! Foremost on his fading mind was the execution of his deathbed strategy that would bring him final victory over his brother in a game of Tag. Good thing they weren't playing Marbles because they clearly lost all of theirs some time ago.
“A boy has never wept… nor dashed a thousand kin. You can play jacks, and girls do that with a soft ball and do tricks with it. Oh, oh, dog biscuit. And when he is happy, he doesn’t get snappy.” Gangster Dutch Schultz (Left)
Well, what else could you expect from a guy so crazy he was barred from Lucky Luciano's newly formed criminal Commission. See, Dutch Schultz was too crazy for the likes of Bugsy Siegel, Albert Anastasia, Scarface Al Capone and the rest of the milquetoast choir of gangland Prohibition. To be fair, after Schultz was shot on October 23, 1935, at the Palace Chop in Newark, NJ, he lingered in the hospital for days prior to dying. Any number of days in the hospital for just a boil would be enough to cause delirium oratio in the healthiest of minds let alone in the depraved consciousness of a dying psychopath. Still, that Dutchman had one Alice In Wonderland moment as he shuffled off this mortal coil, and there's no telling what disturbing graphics flickered across his fevered movie screen as he breathed his last. And when he did, a public never wept never mind the boy Dutch said has never wept.
Some things never change. Or, good advice endures. Pick your bromide. Most interesting is we have the dying (and arguably his most important) words of the Emir of Afghanistan - AFGHANISTAN! - warning about the Russians. The Brianetics Ad Hoc Panel on Foreign Matters and Faux Walnut Indoor Coverings determined in a recent policy abstract that neither Afghanistan nor Russia should be trusted for any reason, ever. By anyone.
Brianetics salutes Capt. O'Neill for his patriotism, dedication and valor during his career as a lawman through his tragic end with Roosevelt's Rough Riders during the Spanish-American War. There is an irony, however. There is evidence that the Spanish were using German arms and ordnance. Meaning, of course, though the shot was likely fired by a Spaniard Capt. O'Neill was killed by a German bullet. Not a Spanish bullet.
“La France, l’armée, tête d’armée, Joséphine” (“France, the army, head of the army, Joséphine”).
Napoleon Bonaparte (right)
Once again, it seemed fitting to follow one brave soldier with a great general. Unlike Capt. O'Neill, who died a soldier's death on the field of battle, Napoleon withered away in exile on the desolate isle of St. Helena. His last words are both lucid and appropriate, unlike so many chronicled here. They succinctly reflect the three things he cherished most - France, the army and wife Josephine - and the one thing he was most proud to have been - head of the army. Adieu, Mon General.
Groucho left us smiling before he left us.
And that, of course, was the Great Groucho Marx - the actual, genuine, indisputable King of All Media. Unlike Howard Stern with his 2 self-serving pamphlets, a tv blip and forgettable biopic starring himself, Groucho was a star of burlesque, vaudeville, Broadway, motion pictures, radio and a Peabody Award-winning TV show still being rebranded today. Add to that at least 21 best selling books and a victorious Carnegie Hall one-man show in 1972 at age 81. Oh, and he sold some albums, too. Compared to that, Mr. Stern isn't king of anything but his own ego.
And compare Groucho's humorous aphorism on his deathbed to how that drunken, bulb-nosed misanthrope W.C. Fields damned society, mankind, but most unforgivably his fans.
Josephine Baker (above) was "the most sensational woman anyone ever saw." by Ernest Hemingway, who spent hours talking with her in Paris bars. Picasso drew paintings depicting her alluring beauty. Jean Cocteau became friendly with her and helped vault her to international stardom. In 1966, Fidel Castro invited her to perform at the Teatro Musical de La Habana in Havana, Cuba, at the seventh-anniversary celebrations of his revolution. She also refused to perform for segregated audiences in the U.S., even when offered $10,000 by a Miami club. (The club eventually met her demands.). Her insistence on mixed audiences helped integrate live which she began receiving threats from people claiming to be Ku Klux Klan, publicly stating she was not afraid of them.
Well, she should know something about how life should be lived. A dancer of some sensation in the 1920's on, Ms. Baker became part of the American ex-patriot movement, eventually becoming a French citizen. Some of her many achievements include being the first black woman to star in a major motion picture, the 1927 silent film Siren of the Tropics; one of the most celebrated performers to headline the revues of the Folies Bergère in Paris. Her performance in the revue Un vent de folie in 1927 caused a sensation in the city. Her costume, consisting of only a short skirt of artificial bananas and a beaded necklace (an iconic image and a symbol of th Jazz Age); awarded the Resistance Medal by the French Committee of National Liberation, the Croix de Guerre by the French military, and was named a Chevalier of the Légion d'honneur by General Charles de Gaulle for her wartime work with the French Resistance and she entering the Panthéon in Paris, the first black woman to receive one of the highest honors in France.3
FOR MOR ON JOSEPHINE BAKER GO TO
"It's better to burn out than to fade away."
Kurt Donald Cobain (left) Influential musician described as the voice of Generation X. After exiting rehab for overdosing on heroin and rohypnol, Mr. Cobain evidently found it expedient to shoot himself in the head with a shotgun. The words above are from a Neil Young song; Mr. Cobain found them pertinent to his suicide note. He was 27
So, for his suicide note this much renowned singer-songwriter poet to a generation - practically plagiarized one of the most fatalistic quotes ever used to characterize a generation - that of the early 1950s. Uttered by young hoodlum Nick Romano aware he faces the death penalty in the movie Knock On Any Door, he opines: live fast, die young and leave a good looking corpse.
Then, more famously we have Gen. Douglas MacArthur addressing a joint session of Congress in part with: Old soldiers never die, they just fade away.
So you'd think the voice of his generation, poet of the Gen Xers, could come up with something original rather than this twice-baked potato. Even worse, those recycled sentiments weren't even his. Cobain borrowed those, too, from Neil Young.
Some of these last words are quite mystifying, to illustrate the obvious.
Still, RIP, Kurt. Say Hello to Janis and Jimi and Jim for us.
“I knew it! I knew it! Born in a hotel room and, goddamn it, dying in a hotel room.”
Last words of playwright Eugene O'Neill.
Pulitzer Prize-winning playwright Eugene O’Neill was born in a room at the Broadway Hotel on what is now Times Square. He died at age 65 in a Boston hotel.
And another extraordinarily talented and accomplished man dying with bitterness over hisbookend accomodations - the first was beyond his control and the last likely his personalchoice though that is not certain.
“How did the Mets do today?” - last words of major league baseball catcher Mo Berg, pictured above.
Now THAT'S a baseball fan! But Mr. Berg was mucvh more than a journeyman catcher - 15 years with the Chicago White Sox, Cleveland Indians, Boston Red Sox and Wahington Senators - he was a genuine American hero. A graduate of Princeton University and Columbia Law School, Berg spoke several languages and regularly read ten newspapers a day. In 1932, Berg traveled to Japan with other ballplayers to start pitching, catching, and hitting clinics for athletes at six universities. There, he became fluent in Japanese.
Two years later, Berg was picked to join Babe Ruth, Lou Gehrig, and other baseball greats on an all-star team that traveled to Tokyo. The tour is widely credited with kick-starting professional baseball in Japan. Berg certainly wasn’t all-star material — but he wasn’t in the country to play baseball. He was there to gather information for the U>S> government.
While there, Berg took to putting on a long black kimono — traditional Japanese attire — and walked to a hospital to visit the daughter of the US ambassador to Japan. She had just given birth, and Berg had picked up flowers for her along the way. However, he bypassed each floor and headed to the roof of the hospital, then the tallest building in the city, and used a Bell & Howell camera from beneath his kimono to make a panoramic film against the wishes of the Japanese. This film was later used for strategic intelligence and viewed by Gen. Jimmy Doolittle’s pilots before their famous raid on Tokyo in April 1942.
In 1947, President Harry S. Truman presented Berg the Presidential Medal of Freedom, then known as the Medal of Freedom, for his “exceptionally meritorious service of high value to the war effort from April 1944 to January 1946.”
“This dying is boring. –Richard Feynman
Like Churchill and Sanders, this famous Nobel physicist, author, musician, professor, and traveler found dying a rather tedious undertaking for someone of his global stature and acclaim. Some prople aren't happy no matter their standing in the World.
"I just wish I had time for one more bowl of chili."
Kit Carson, pioneer 🢂🢂🢂🢂🢂🢂🢂🢂
No steak on that menu in Fort Lyon, CO? No lobster nor venison? Well, if the foremost scout of the American West and Civil War veteran wants a bowl of chili, a bowl of chili is what he gets.
WHO PLANNED THE MENU THAT DAY, ANYWAY?
Now here's a guy who rose to international acclaim on the silver screen playing - to name but a few roles - Oliver Cromwell, King Arthur, Richard the Lion-heart, Emperor Marcus Aurelius, Abbe Faria (in The Count of Monte Cristo), English Bob (The Unforgiven) and Dumbledore. He was nominated for two Oscars, a Primetime Emmy, two Cable ACE Awards, a SAG Award, two Golden Globes (winning one) and won Best Actor at Cannes, a Grammy and two Lifetime Achievement Awards (Empire Awards, UK; European Film Awards) among other accolades.
You would think a man with such a distinguished career, whose accomplishments spanned decades, generations, continents and genres...You would think a man of Richard Harris' stature and high esteem could at least get a decent meal at the Savoy Hotel.
There is no evidence Mr. Harris ordered the chili.
Composer Jean-Philippe Rameau
objected to a song sung at his bedside. He said, “What the devil do you mean to sing to me, priest? You are out of tune.”