If your ship doesn't come in, swim out to it.  Jonathan Winters

We are not amused.  Queen Elizabeth I

By outward signs do not be cheated, an ass should like an ass be treated.  John Gay

Things are seldom what they seem, skim milk masquerades as cream. HMS PINAFORE

I beseech you in the bowels of Christ consider the possibility you may be mistaken.  Oliver Cromwell

Extremism in the defense of liberty is no vice. And moderation in the pursuit of justice is no virtue.  Barry Goldwater 

A popular author is one who writes what the people think. Genius invites them to think something else.    Ambrose Bierce

(Life) is a tale told by an idiot. Full of sound and fury signifying nothing.       From  Macbeth

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Dying is easy. Comedy is hard. 

Actor Edmund Gwenn on his deathbed         

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It gets under my skin and crawls.                                                        Mrs. Ann Connor

I go up Calvary every day.                                                                       Mrs. Ann Connor            ________________________________ 

  Night is irregular. What is not done in the daytime becomes possible at night...murder and sex and thought.           Alexei Panshin  - The Thurb Revolution

The cat's in the bag and the bag's in the river.  From Sweet Smell Of Success

In confusion there is profit.  From Operation Petticoat

Circumstances in this country conspire to annoy me. 

From Teahouse Of  The August Moon

Mount Up And Ride to the Sound of the Guns   Unknown

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A delusion, a mockery and a snare.                                                                Lord Denman

Don't worry about the horse being blind, just load the wagon.  John Madden

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Never answer a letter when you are angry.   Chinese Proverb

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Take the shortest route to the puck and arrive in ill-humor.

Fred Shero Phila. Flyers Stanley Cup Winning Coach

My tongue cannot speak what my eyes have seen.   From The Buccaneer

The guilty are the first to speak. Frank "Pete" Andaloro - Andaloro Farms Field Manager hors concours

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Get outta my sight and stay there. ‽

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Time marches on, but why does it have to march over me?   ‽   

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On occasion it is necessary to subvert the law to maintain the peace. ‽

• I am not young enough to know everything.
• The world was my oyster but I used the wrong fork.
• I think that God, in creating man, somewhat overestimated his ability.
• I don't want to go to heaven. None of my friends are there
• The world is a stage and the play is badly cast.
• Education is an admirable thing, but it is well to remember from time to time that nothing that is worth knowing can be taught.
• Be yourself. Everyone else is already taken.
• Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination.
• Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.
• To love oneself id the beginning of a lifelong ROMANCE.
• Every saint has a past, and every sinner has a future.
•  I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read in the train. 
• Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.

Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Oscar Wilde...

History will be kind to me, for I intend to write it.

• Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing ever happened.

• Never hold discussions with the monkey when the organ grinder is in the room.

• Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm.
• Courage is rightly esteemed the first of human qualities because it has been said, it is the quality which guarantees all others.
• If you’re going through hell, keep going.
• All I can say is that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.
• It is a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma.
• Terminological inexactitude.  
  

Ladies and gentlemen, Sir Winston Churchill   

The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.

Edmund Burke

• If you steal from one author it's plagiarism; if you steal from many it's research.

• The worst-tempered people I've ever met were people who knew they were wrong.

• To profit from good advice requires more wisdom than to give it.

• Don't talk about yourself; it will be done when you leave.

• The most efficient water power in the world - women's tears.

• I can usually judge a fellow by what he laughs at.

• The amount of sleep required by the average person is five minutes more.

• Easy street is a blind alley.

• I've known countless people who were reservoirs of learning, yet never had a thought.

• A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while, he knows something.

• I respect faith, but doubt is what gets you an education.

• The first hundred years are the hardest.

• A drama critic is a person who surprises the playwright by informing him what he meant.

• To my embarrassment I was born in bed with a lady.r

• Anybody who can write home for money can write for magazines.

• He's the only man I ever knew who had rubber pockets so he could steal soup.

• Most hard-boiled people are half-baked.

• A fellow who is always declaring that he's no fool, usually has his suspicions.

• God help those who do not help themselves.

  For Those Who Are Wondering:

Wilson Mizner (May 19, 1876 – April 3, 1933) was an American playwright, raconteur, and entrepreneur. His best-known plays are The Deep Purple, produced in 1910, and The Greyhound, produced in 1912. He was manager and co-owner of The Brown Derby restaurant in Los Angeles, California. He was also a contemporary of and friend to Arnold Rothstein, infamous NYC gambler suspected of orchestrating the 1919 Black Sox scandal. Mizner spent time in Hollywood as a top-paid screenwriter and sometime actor. For more on this fascinating character go to https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wilson_Mizner.

Richard Milhaus Nixon, 37th President Of The United States Of America

Entering Chicago 1968 Presidential campaign