Biological Reflection
Ogden Nash
A girl whose cheeks are covered with paint
Has an advantage with me over one whose ain't
The Dog
Ogden Nash
The truth I do not stretch or shove When I state that the dog is full of love.
I've also found, by actual test, A wet dog is the lovingest.
THE HUNTER
OGDEN NASH
The hunter crouches in his blind
'Neath camouflage of every kind
And conjures up a quacking noise
To lend allure to his decoys
This grown-up man, with pluck and luck
is hoping to outwit a duck
SONG OF THE OPEN ROAD
OGDEN NASH
I think that I shall never see
A billboard lovely as a tree
Indeed, unless the billboards fall
I'll never see a tree at all.
When I'm Old
© Michael Holding
When I'm old and mankey,
I'll never use a hanky.
I'll wee on plants
and soil my pants
and sometimes get quite cranky
TRESSES FINE Anon.
Some take their gold in minted mold
And some in harps hereafter
But I'll take mine in tresses fine
And keep the change in laughter
SNOW JOB
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
(c) All Rights Reserved
Washington is to get a foot of snow! That is nothin' new as far as I know. I will shed no clamant tears. They gave us snow jobs for years! Methinks that a pertinent quid pro quo!
“You Fit Into Me” by Margaret Atwood
you fit into me
like a hook into an eye
a fish hook
an open eye
HENRY DAVID THOREAU “MY LIFE HAS BEEN THE POEM I WOULD HAVE WRIT”
My life has been the poem I would have writ
But I could not both live and utter it.
The New Decalogue
AMBROSE BIERCE
1
I Have but one God: thy knees were sore
If bent in prayer to three or four.
2
Adore no images save those
The coinage of thy country shows.
3
Take not the Name in vain. Direct
Thy swearing unto some effect.
4
Thy hand from Sunday work be held—
Work not at all unless compelled.
5
Honor thy parents, and perchance
Their wills thy fortunes may advance.
6
Kill not—death liberates thy foe
From persecution’s constant woe.
7
Kiss not thy neighbor’s wife. Of course
There’s no objection to divorce.
8
To steal were folly, for ’tis plain
In cheating there is greater gain
. 9
Bear not false witness. Shake your head
And say that you have “heard it said.”
10
Who stays to covet ne’er will catch
An opportunity to snatch.
An Elegy on the Death of a Mad Dog Oliver Goldsmith
Good people all, of every sort,
Give ear unto my song ;
And, if you find it wondrous short –
It cannot hold you long.
In Islington there was a man
Of whom the world might say,
That still a godly race he ran –
Whene’er he went to pray.
A kind and gentle heart he had,
To comfort friends and foes ;
The naked every day he clad –
When he put on his clothes.
And in that town a dog was found :
As many dogs there be ;
Both mongrel, puppy, whelp, and hound,
And curs of low degree.
This dog and man at first were friends ;
But, when a pique began,
The dog, to gain some private ends,
Went mad, and bit the man.
Around, from all the neighbouring streets,
The wondering neighbours ran
And swore the dog had lost his wits,
To bite so good a man.
The wound it seem’d both sore and sad
To every christian eye ;
And, while they swore the dog was mad,
They swore the man would die.
But soon a wonder came to light,
That show’d the rogues they lied :
The man recover’d of the bite ;
The dog it was that died.
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The Lock
You gave me the key to your heart
My love
So I wouldn't have to knock
You gave me the key to your heart
My love
But then you changed the lock
Busy Heart
my heart's been busy busy,
Dizzy, fizzy, silly,
Buzz buzz here comes those bees,
Wheelie, feelies, kissies
from Lyrics of Lowly Life, Paul Laurence Dunbar (1896)
"THOU art a fool," said my head to my heart,
"Indeed, the greatest of fools thou art,
To be led astray by the trick of a tress,
By a smiling face or a ribbon smart;"
And my heart was in sore distress.
Then Phyllis came by, and her face was fair,
The light gleamed soft on her raven hair;
And her lips were blooming a rosy red.
Then my heart spoke out with a right bold air:
"Thou art worse than a fool, O head!"
Phlegm
Phlegm is the most gruesome word
that you'll find in this book.
It has a hidden silent G
that some say stands for Gook.
by Denise Rodgers
Copyright© Denise Rodgers
All Rights Reserved
Permissions
Sudden Baldness
"Oh my!" the portly gent called out.
"I cannot find my hair.
I washed and put it out to dry
and now it isn't there!"
by Denise Rodgers
Copyright© Denise Rodgers
All Rights Reserved
Permissions
The Purple Cow
by Gelett Burgess
I never saw a Purple Cow,
I never hope to see one;
But I can tell you, anyhow,
I’d rather see than be one.
Perils of Thinking
Unknown
A centipede was happy quite,
Until a frog in fun
Said, “Pray, which leg comes after which?”
This raised her mind to such a pitch,
She lay distracted in the ditch
Considering how to run
Messy Room
Shel Silverstein
Whosever room this is should be ashamed!
His underwear is hanging on the lamp.
His raincoat is there in the overstuffed chair,
And the chair is becoming quite mucky and damp.
His workbook is wedged in the window,
And his pants have been carelessly hung on the door.
His books are all jammed in the closet,
And his smelly old sock has been stuck to the wall.
Whosever room this is should be ashamed!
I knew it looked familiar!